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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28101951">Is That Even Allowed?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphosoup/pseuds/sapphosoup'>sapphosoup</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>my nonbinary sirius black fics [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Coming Out, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Genderfluid Sirius Black, Hogwarts, Light Angst, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Sirius Black, Other, Supportive James Potter, Trans Character, james is a himbo, sirius and james are both trying their best, sirius goes by they/them pronouns</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 21:34:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,125</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28101951</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphosoup/pseuds/sapphosoup</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sirius isn't a boy, but they aren't a girl, either. James doesn't fully understand, but he's a good friend.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James Potter/Lily Evans Potter (implied), Sirius Black &amp; James Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin (implied)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>my nonbinary sirius black fics [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2135118</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>131</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Is That Even Allowed?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I love nonbinary Sirius and I just wanted to write a little thing about it. There's no pronoun talk in this but I still used they/them for Sirius because if I had continued it, that's what they would've eventually settled on!<br/>Also, James mentions that the temperature is 35 degrees, and that's in Celsius. In Fahrenheit it's around 95 degrees.<br/>unbeta’d, so any mistakes are mine!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sirius sat on the deck and splashed their feet in the water, watching James do never-ending cannonballs into the lake. Their jeans were rolled all the way up to their knees, but the thigh part was still getting damp. </p><p>They had a bit of a problem. Well, maybe that’s an understatement. Sirius had a huge problem, a problem so big that they hadn’t even figured out how to talk to James about it yet. Honestly, they weren’t even sure how to make sense of it themself. </p><p>James climbed up the ladder to the deck, his wet hair sticking to his face. “Hey mate,” he said, sitting next to Sirius. “You alright? You look down.”</p><p>Sirius squinted into the sunlight. Were they alright? They weren’t sure. For one thing, James was shaking out his hair and the water droplets were getting Sirius even more wet. </p><p>“Yeah, I’m fine,” they shoved James to the side playfully. “Eugh, you’re getting the slimy lake water all over my jacket.”<br/>
<br/>
James rolled his eyes. “It’s thirty five degrees out, Pads. Take that stupid thing off. You sure you’re good?”<br/>
<br/>
Sirius hesitated. Were they alright? For another thing, their jacket was the only thing that made them feel truly <em> themself</em>. </p><p>If they were going to pluck up the courage to talk to James, they would definitely need their lucky leather jacket. </p><p>“Look, Prongs,” they paused, letting silence seep between them, “I don’t--I don’t know how to say this--” </p><p>James put a hand on their shoulder. “Hey,” he said, “wanna go inside? You look peaky.”<br/>
<br/>
Sirius nodded, their mouth starting to get too dry to speak. <em> Merlin</em>, what was happening?</p><p>James stood up and hoisted Sirius up to their feet. He roughly dried his hair out with his towel and slung it over his shoulders while Sirius laced up their boots. They walked back to the castle with a comfortable rhythm that Sirius was well-accustomed to. James hummed a few bars from <em> Rebel Rebel </em> --Remus had gotten them all hooked on Bowie a few summers ago--and Sirius calmed down. This was familiar. This was okay. This was <em> James</em>. </p><p>James, their brother. James, who all but forced Sirius to move in with him after finding out the full extent of the Black’s abuse. James, who always listened without interrupting and hexed anyone who said even the smallest bad thing about Muggleborns and was a fierce believer in equality.</p><p>James made Sirius feel safe. Maybe that was why they were choosing him as the first to talk about this with, instead of Remus.</p><p>Remus was such a mystery. He was so unlike James, who wore his heart loud and proud on his sleeve. Sirius had no doubts that Remus loved him, but it was different. He was so… private about it. Sirius had a hard time getting into his head. With James, they always knew where they stood. If James had a problem with something, or if he had any sort of opinion, he made sure everyone knew about it. Sirius didn’t think James had any sort of impulse control on his vocal chords. </p><p>And because of all this, Sirius felt safe. James was a good person. James was an accepting person. James would make everything alright. Sirius knew that. </p><p>Sirius still felt like they were going to be sick.</p><p>Once inside the castle, they pulled James into the nearest empty alcove and shut the door behind them. “Couldn’t wait until we got in the dorm to ravage me?” James said, grinning. “Wait till I tell Moony how you shoved me in a broom closet while I’m half-naked and wet from the lake, he’ll really love that.”</p><p>Sirius raised an eyebrow. “Wait till I tell Lily the first thing you think of when I bring you somewhere to talk is <em> sex</em>, she’ll like that for sure.” </p><p>“Fine, fine, truce.” James chuckled. “But really, what’s up?” He put a hand on Sirius’s shoulder, brows furrowing. </p><p>Sirius shuffled their feet. They knew this was coming, that the inevitable was waiting for them in this closet, but it still felt too soon. </p><p>“I don’t know how to say this. I don’t have the right words for it, but I want you to know anyways because you’re my brother and it feels wrong keeping it from you.”<br/>
<br/>
James was staring at Sirius so deeply it hurt. “Okay.”</p><p>Sirius huffed, partly out of frustration at themself, partly out of frustration at the universe for not giving them the right vocabulary to say what they needed to say. </p><p>“Do you ever--do you ever not feel like a boy?” Sirius asked, their voice so small it could’ve been a whisper. </p><p>James’s hand fell from their shoulder. He leaned back on the wall behind him. “What do you mean?” Confusion was clear on his face. </p><p>“I mean,” Sirius stared straight down at the floor. “Do you ever feel like you’re not a boy, but you’re not a girl, either?” They scolded themself internally for being so horrible at explanations. </p><p>James’s eyebrows were so knotted together that Sirius thought they might just stay that way for the rest of his life. “I’m not following,” he said. </p><p>Sirius sighed. “I don’t think I’m a boy,” they said, waving their arms around, “but I don’t think I’m a girl, either. I’m just--I’m just me.”</p><p>James tilted his head to one side. Sirius could practically see the cogs in his brain working, trying to make sense of what they’d just said.<br/>
<br/>
“Is that even allowed?” James asked.</p><p>“What?” </p><p>“Well, isn’t everyone a boy or a girl? How can you just… not be either?” His eyes widened as he realized what he’d said, “I mean, I’m not trying to be rude, I just don’t get it.” </p><p>Sirius was suddenly filled with a surge of appreciation for James. <em> He’s so bloody polite</em>, they thought.</p><p>“I dunno. I just know what I feel.” Sirius looked James straight in the eye for the first time since their conversation started, “and would it really be so bad?” </p><p>James took a moment to consider. He opened his mouth slowly, almost deliberately. “No, I don’t think it’d be that bad.” </p><p>They stared at each other for a few beats. “You’re happy?” James asked, putting his hand back on Sirius’s shoulder.</p><p>Sirius nodded, fearing they might cry if they said anything else. </p><p>James pulled them in for a hug, and Sirius was so relieved they didn’t even complain about Jame’s damp chest getting their jacket wet again. </p><p>They pulled apart, and Sirius saw a twinkle in James’s eyes. “If anyone was going to rebel even against something like gender, of course it’d be you, Padfoot.” </p><p>Sirius laughed, taken aback. <em> James always knows the right thing to say. Tosser</em>, they thought. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thanks for reading :) come talk on <a href="https://lilyevansgf.tumblr.com/">tumblr</a>!!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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